The big first one

So the name of this blog comes from the idea I had of sort of breaking myths of bands that were overrated, underrated etc. Case in point being Bob Dylan, you do not get away with the title of "Best Songwriter Ever" when your entire career was a few good early years followed by literally decades of musical shit. The same man that wrote "Tambourine Man" wrote "Man Gave Name To All the Animals." One great song, and one absolutely atrocious song nets you a very mediocre career; such is the case with Bob Dylan. But I transgress......

Now this blog is about bigger things. More personal things. Right now there is only one major personal issue I'm having. Well I suppose not one, but one that rises far and above all others. The question that is seriously haunting my mind is "Do I seriously have an std?"

To many this might be a very clear cut case, especially given the symptoms I'm having. Let's look at them:
1. My penis is incredibly sore and irritated and has been for the last three days.
2. There is very much some swelling going on.
3. It burns when I pee.

Returning to my second symptom though, and this is why I'm not exactly convinced I have an std is that the swelling is in my foreskin. That's right a fucking foreskin, cause for some retarded ass reason my parents decided to go against the teachings of the Hebrews, 95% of society, and even the very same decision they made twice for my two older brothers, and decided to not have me circumcised.

Now I know for many of you this takes you into a world you've never been in, that of the limited few who have a proverbial shield for their literal second head. So it obviously warrants some detailing.

Pros of not being circumcised:
Supposed higher levels of sexual excitement due to a lack of destimulation of the nerve-centric head of the penis from being exposed

Cons of not being circumcised:
Hoes think it looks strange.
Feelings of alienation when watching porn.
Feelings of alienation when changing in gym class.
Serious hesitancy to convert to Judaism as an adult.
Most importantly though is you get infections.

Now in all honesty, these are quite avoidable, all it requires is pulling the proverbial shield away from the literal second head a little bit in the shower to let the little guy drink up a some water, rinse himself down. It is for this reason I haven't had an infection on my snausage in about twenty years, leaving me in a position in which I can't really remember what they are like; but I know they are similar to what I'm experiencing now.

Logistically, one might quickly ask, "well if you haven't had one of these in forever, and you've coincidentally busted out four different chicks in the last three months, what in the world are the odds that this is just a lack of cleaning on your part?" Fair question I would respond, but I there is a culmination of factors to be considered.
1. I've started showering less frequently. Instead of everyday I've stepped back to every other day, namely because I like how my hair sits down after a day or two without shampoo.
2. The last two showers I took before this onset of unwelcome and very literally burning loins were very rushed ones. Bitches were on their way, and I either hadn't showered already for a day or two, or I had to get the scent of the first one off me.
3. Like I said, I can't remember what this self-brought-on infections due to uncleanliness are like. I do remember them being incredibly uncomfortable and lasting for a few days.

So all I can ask for at this point in time is for your prayers and sympathies. If there are any hoes out there down to suck some swollen, infected as dong, then holla at me.

My next entry won't be nearly as graphic, but will again pertain to my crotchal region, as will most of my enteries, cause as I imagine my great, great grandfather that I never met would say "the cock is where the heart is."